The sexually responsible woman

       Often times, people equate a woman being sexually responsible to having only one sexual partner at a time/just a few in a lifetime. I however do not find this notion to be very accurate. To me, a woman can have numerous partners and be sexually responsible while another can have only one partner and be sexually irresponsible. How? You may ask, well I’ll explain below.
   
       A sexually responsible woman is a woman who understands that she has full autonomy over her body and understands the importance of taking her sexual health very seriously. She understands that she has every right to say No to sex if she doesn’t want it and if she wants to, she has the right to decide whom she has sex with, when and how the act is to occur.
                     
       The sexually responsible woman:
1. Understands her cycle
      Every woman should understand her menstrual cycle. She should take note of when she is “safe” and “unsafe”.  You should observe your body well enough to know when you’re ovulating (i.e. unsafe). There are many apps you can download on your mobile devices that can make this an easier process for you. Some include: Period calendar, Ladytimer ovulation app, Period tracker and a host of others, all you have to do is check your playstore. These apps help calculate your ovulation, period days and also give you reminders when the days are near. If you don't have one,why? Download it now!

     Keeping track of your cycle can help you plan your way around pregnancy, depending on whether you want to get pregnant or not.


2. Knows the various contraceptive methods available
     There are various methods of contraception available. These include: combination pills, Intrauterine devices(IUDs), condoms, patch, implants, pull-out method amongst others. The most commonly used are pull-out, condoms and pills as they are easy to use. The rest usually require professional guidance so it’s important to consult your doctor/ pharmacist.
    Some of these methods help prevent pregnancy for up to 5 years and they're quite affordable. A number of them however have side effects, so consult your healthcare professional to decide which is best for you.

3. Is not ashamed to purchase contraceptives
     As a sexually active woman, you should not be ashamed to walk into a pharmacy to buy a pack of condoms. This will save you from stories of “I don’t have any on me” from your partner. If you prefer to use any of the available alternatives, you should confidently walk into a hospital and discuss with your doctor. If you’re too ashamed to take the necessary precautions/ to have condoms around, you probably shouldn’t be having sex.

4. Understands that Postinor 2 is NOT for regular use
    Postinor is intended for use as an emergency contraceptive e.g in case you have unprotected sex when you know you’re not safe or when you just want to be extra cautious. It is medically advised to take Postinor not more than once/ twice in a menstrual cycle i.e once/twice a month. Taking it too frequently can cause hormonal imbalance.
     There are contraceptive pills designed for daily use. If you’re highly sexually active, it is best to opt for these. Consult your doctor/ pharmacist so they can recommend a suitable one for you.

5. Understands that Ampiclox DOES NOT prevent pregnancy
      I discovered recently  that a number of women take ampiclox after sex because they believe it can prevent pregnancy. This is very untrue. It is also not safe as irrational use of antibiotics can cause you to develop resistance to them. That way, if you have actual infection  later on and you take it, it may not work for you as your body might have developed resistance to it.

6. Understands that douching/ washing her vagina after sex DOES NOT "wash the sperm away "
     Sperm are fast swimmers and washing because you're trying to prevent pregnancy is useless. I suggest you get an emergency contraceptive/daily pills if you find the need for extra precaution.


7. Ensures she has protected sex
      Condoms can help prevent pregnancy but also very important is the fact that they can protect you from Sexually Transmitted Infections. Most people seem more careful when it comes to preventing pregnancy but they forget how important it is to prevent STIs. If you have multiple partners or you have a promiscuous partner, demand that they use a condom. We all know/ have heard stories of women who have contacted STDs from their unfaithful partners. Try your best to protect yourself to reduce the risk of becoming another statistic.

8. Goes to the clinic for tests as often as possible
    This is one I struggle with because at times you get so lazy that you don't see the need to get tested for STDs regularly  or perhaps get an HPV vaccine. To all my fellow lazy sisters on this table, we need to do better.
    Detecting an STD on time can help treat it easier and prevent it from causing permanent damage to your reproductive system. HPV vaccine can help prevent genital warts and cervical cancer. Let's stop being lazy and drag ourselves to the hospital to do the right thing!


9. Only becomes sexually active when SHE wants to
      If you want to wait till marriage, don’t let anybody make you change your mind. All you need do is find a partner that is on the same page with you(this is very important). Do not become sexually active for the sole purpose of keeping a man. Do not also view sex as a gift you give a man.  Ensure that it is what YOU want and start when you feel you are ready to handle the responsibilities that come with being sexually active. Understand that you have every right to say No if you’re not in the mood.

       So ladies, let’s take charge of our sexual life. Sexual responsibility as you can see is not dependent on the number of partners you have. If you get pregnant/contact an STD, everybody blames YOU, everybody asks you why you couldn’t keep your legs closed. It is your body and hence your job to look after it to the best of your ability. Therefore, take the necessary precautions, have protected sex, use appropriate contraceptive methods and also become sexually active only when you know you can handle it. Whether you have 1 sexual partner or 100, endeavor to be sexually responsible.
      Have a nice day!