The Hebrew Woman
Hey guys, sorry for the hiatus. The last week of the year and first week of a new year are usually periods of deep reflection for me especially since my birthday falls within that period. Haven’t been able to write much mainly due to that but I’m back now.
So, this is something that has always bothered me for a couple of years now and I decided to write on it today. Growing up, I noticed there’s this subtle shame/reservation people have towards methods of giving birth/having a child other than the natural “push method”. These methods I’m talking of are Caesarean sections(CS), In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) and Surrogacy. A good number if people make it seem like women that opt for these methods are somehow weaker, incomplete or that the babies are abnormal. To be honest though, I actually bought into that ideology when I was much younger (probably due to societal conditioning) but as I grew up and began to think for myself, I realized how flawed and wrong it is.
I’ll start with CS as so far this is the most widely accepted of the methods I’ve mentioned though some people still have reservations about it. Even if you’re not a Christian, I’m sure you must have heard of the term “Hebrew woman”. A lot of women pray seriously and cling to the hope that they give birth like the Biblical Hebrew woman. Don’t get me wrong, it is every woman’s dream to have a very easy delivery if she decides to have children but it becomes a problem when some women refuse/delay surgical help because they want to deliver like a “Hebrew woman”. While it is rational to pray for an easy delivery free of complications, what a lot of people don’t realize is that there is technically no such thing as a “Hebrew woman” delivery. Before you argue with me, I want you to open your bible to Exodus 1:15-21. Pharaoh ordered the midwives to kill male children as they were born but these women feared God hence refused to do so. The king realized the male children were still alive and summoned them for an explanation. They came up with an excuse (or you can say a lie) to protect the kids. They instead told Pharaoh:
“The Hebrew women are not like the Egyptian women, they give birth easily and their babies are born before either of us gets there”-Exodus 1:19(GNT)
If you analyze this critically you will realize they only said so to protect the male children, there is no concrete proof that the Hebrew women actually gave birth very easily. I’m hammering on this particular point because I have heard stories of some women that insist on natural deliveries or delay surgery against medical advice and hence have complications or perhaps even lose their babies/ die simply because they want to deliver like the Biblical “Hebrew woman”. They believe doing so is somehow a sign of strength and God’s favor upon them and any other method of delivery somehow reduces the significance of God’s favor upon their lives. Such people need to stop looking at CS like a big deal. Not everybody can push a baby out and that’s very fine, it doesn’t make you any less of a woman.
Next up on my list is IVF. This has had a lot of hot takes and criticisms over the years. IVF is simply a procedure where fertilization is aided by manually fusing the egg and sperm in a laboratory dish and transferring the embryo to the woman’s uterus, multiple embryos are usually gotten at once. Some people consider IVF babies as unnatural, sinful, abnormal. Even the catholic church has always had a strong stance against it. Some people hate the fact that IVF procedures usually involve what is known as “Multifetal reduction” where some embryos are pretty much aborted in cases where more embryos than the couple desires grow. Others hate that it gives people an option to select the gender of their child if they want. I could go on and on about the criticisms IVF faces.
Now, we all know couples that have battled with infertility for years. All of a sudden, they give birth, usually in multiples i.e twins, triplets and they come to church to give thanksgiving to God/ share testimonies. Personally, I consider conceiving though IVF a miracle because there are so many people that ply that route that do not successfully conceive children even after trying multiple times. What I consider odd however is that these couples conveniently leave out the part where they went through IVF procedures and make it seem like they just sat home and prayed for God to bless them without doing anything more. Other couples with infertility issues can hear their testimonies and feel that God is not blessing them because they’re either not prayerful enough or don’t have a level of grace high enough for God to bless them not knowing that God blessed the other couple through IVF. Some people openly condemn IVF but secretly go and conceive through that means. It’s highly unfair. We as a society need to stop making IVF look like such a bad thing, this can make people more willing to share their experiences to help others that are facing the same situation. Also, couples who opt for it should damn society and be more open about saying it, let go of that shame. You are not incomplete simply because you opted for an alternate means of conception.
Last on my list is surrogacy. This is probably the one that’s most frowned upon. We have traditional surrogacy whereby the ovum comes from the surrogate mother and the sperm from the biological father and gestational surrogacy where both the ovum and sperm come from the parents of the child but is simply implanted into a third party who carries it to term. Whichever it is, people have often criticized it for being unnatural. Couples battle with infertility for years, have multiple miscarriages, multiple failed IVF procedures but fear to opt for surrogacy because of how they feel it would look to society or perhaps because of their own personal bias. Whether or not a woman has trouble carrying a pregnancy to term, if she doesn’t want to, her decision should be respected. Some women have various reasons for not wanting to carry their pregnancies by themselves and if they have the money for it, I see no reason why they should be judged for opting for surrogacy. That is why I respect women like Kim Kardashian, Gabrielle Union who openly discussed their plans to have their kids by surrogacy and took us through the journey. They’re gradually helping to reduce the shame surrounding it. Gabrielle’s story especially makes me very happy because she has battled with infertility for years, had multiple miscarriages, 8 failed IVF procedures and surrogacy finally brought her precious child to her. More couples who have used this method should speak up so others can learn from them. There’s no shame in it.
Babies whichever way they come are blessings. We need to remove this silent stigma around artificially assisted methods of conception and birth. The plain fact is that some women will simply never be able to conceive and carry pregnancies to term but should they be denied of the joys of motherhood? In our African society especially, women get abused, accused of witchcraft, called all sorts of names because they have difficulty conceiving and are scared to try any of the other available methods as they feel it makes them less of a woman. Women with fertility issues suffer multiple miscarriages and many people don’t consider the psychological trauma it has on them, the depression they go through but yet would rather make a mockery of them. Some women endanger themselves because they want to be seen as “strong”.
The fact that another woman carried your child to term doesn’t make the child any less of your own. The fact that you’d rather opt for CS instead of pushing out a baby does not make you less of a woman. The fact that your babies are born via IVF doesn’t make them abnormal. The most important thing is that mother and baby are healthy. Let’s stop being so judgemental of the means people choose to have their babies. I’m a firm believer that God Himself blesses scientists with the wisdom and ideas to make life easier for us. Let’s stop making couples (women especially) go through unnecessary psychological trauma when there are available means to solve their problems. Let’s be more open minded as a society, it’s the 21st century and these things should not be frowned upon anymore.
You may not see anything wrong with all these things I mentioned above but there are a good number of people who do. That is why I feel we need to have more of these kind of conversations so these methods will be largely accepted in society. What do you think?? Do you feel like some people look at these other methods a bit funny or do you think they're accepted enough as it is. I'd love to hear your opinion.
So, this is something that has always bothered me for a couple of years now and I decided to write on it today. Growing up, I noticed there’s this subtle shame/reservation people have towards methods of giving birth/having a child other than the natural “push method”. These methods I’m talking of are Caesarean sections(CS), In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) and Surrogacy. A good number if people make it seem like women that opt for these methods are somehow weaker, incomplete or that the babies are abnormal. To be honest though, I actually bought into that ideology when I was much younger (probably due to societal conditioning) but as I grew up and began to think for myself, I realized how flawed and wrong it is.
I’ll start with CS as so far this is the most widely accepted of the methods I’ve mentioned though some people still have reservations about it. Even if you’re not a Christian, I’m sure you must have heard of the term “Hebrew woman”. A lot of women pray seriously and cling to the hope that they give birth like the Biblical Hebrew woman. Don’t get me wrong, it is every woman’s dream to have a very easy delivery if she decides to have children but it becomes a problem when some women refuse/delay surgical help because they want to deliver like a “Hebrew woman”. While it is rational to pray for an easy delivery free of complications, what a lot of people don’t realize is that there is technically no such thing as a “Hebrew woman” delivery. Before you argue with me, I want you to open your bible to Exodus 1:15-21. Pharaoh ordered the midwives to kill male children as they were born but these women feared God hence refused to do so. The king realized the male children were still alive and summoned them for an explanation. They came up with an excuse (or you can say a lie) to protect the kids. They instead told Pharaoh:
“The Hebrew women are not like the Egyptian women, they give birth easily and their babies are born before either of us gets there”-Exodus 1:19(GNT)
If you analyze this critically you will realize they only said so to protect the male children, there is no concrete proof that the Hebrew women actually gave birth very easily. I’m hammering on this particular point because I have heard stories of some women that insist on natural deliveries or delay surgery against medical advice and hence have complications or perhaps even lose their babies/ die simply because they want to deliver like the Biblical “Hebrew woman”. They believe doing so is somehow a sign of strength and God’s favor upon them and any other method of delivery somehow reduces the significance of God’s favor upon their lives. Such people need to stop looking at CS like a big deal. Not everybody can push a baby out and that’s very fine, it doesn’t make you any less of a woman.
Next up on my list is IVF. This has had a lot of hot takes and criticisms over the years. IVF is simply a procedure where fertilization is aided by manually fusing the egg and sperm in a laboratory dish and transferring the embryo to the woman’s uterus, multiple embryos are usually gotten at once. Some people consider IVF babies as unnatural, sinful, abnormal. Even the catholic church has always had a strong stance against it. Some people hate the fact that IVF procedures usually involve what is known as “Multifetal reduction” where some embryos are pretty much aborted in cases where more embryos than the couple desires grow. Others hate that it gives people an option to select the gender of their child if they want. I could go on and on about the criticisms IVF faces.
Now, we all know couples that have battled with infertility for years. All of a sudden, they give birth, usually in multiples i.e twins, triplets and they come to church to give thanksgiving to God/ share testimonies. Personally, I consider conceiving though IVF a miracle because there are so many people that ply that route that do not successfully conceive children even after trying multiple times. What I consider odd however is that these couples conveniently leave out the part where they went through IVF procedures and make it seem like they just sat home and prayed for God to bless them without doing anything more. Other couples with infertility issues can hear their testimonies and feel that God is not blessing them because they’re either not prayerful enough or don’t have a level of grace high enough for God to bless them not knowing that God blessed the other couple through IVF. Some people openly condemn IVF but secretly go and conceive through that means. It’s highly unfair. We as a society need to stop making IVF look like such a bad thing, this can make people more willing to share their experiences to help others that are facing the same situation. Also, couples who opt for it should damn society and be more open about saying it, let go of that shame. You are not incomplete simply because you opted for an alternate means of conception.
Last on my list is surrogacy. This is probably the one that’s most frowned upon. We have traditional surrogacy whereby the ovum comes from the surrogate mother and the sperm from the biological father and gestational surrogacy where both the ovum and sperm come from the parents of the child but is simply implanted into a third party who carries it to term. Whichever it is, people have often criticized it for being unnatural. Couples battle with infertility for years, have multiple miscarriages, multiple failed IVF procedures but fear to opt for surrogacy because of how they feel it would look to society or perhaps because of their own personal bias. Whether or not a woman has trouble carrying a pregnancy to term, if she doesn’t want to, her decision should be respected. Some women have various reasons for not wanting to carry their pregnancies by themselves and if they have the money for it, I see no reason why they should be judged for opting for surrogacy. That is why I respect women like Kim Kardashian, Gabrielle Union who openly discussed their plans to have their kids by surrogacy and took us through the journey. They’re gradually helping to reduce the shame surrounding it. Gabrielle’s story especially makes me very happy because she has battled with infertility for years, had multiple miscarriages, 8 failed IVF procedures and surrogacy finally brought her precious child to her. More couples who have used this method should speak up so others can learn from them. There’s no shame in it.
Babies whichever way they come are blessings. We need to remove this silent stigma around artificially assisted methods of conception and birth. The plain fact is that some women will simply never be able to conceive and carry pregnancies to term but should they be denied of the joys of motherhood? In our African society especially, women get abused, accused of witchcraft, called all sorts of names because they have difficulty conceiving and are scared to try any of the other available methods as they feel it makes them less of a woman. Women with fertility issues suffer multiple miscarriages and many people don’t consider the psychological trauma it has on them, the depression they go through but yet would rather make a mockery of them. Some women endanger themselves because they want to be seen as “strong”.
The fact that another woman carried your child to term doesn’t make the child any less of your own. The fact that you’d rather opt for CS instead of pushing out a baby does not make you less of a woman. The fact that your babies are born via IVF doesn’t make them abnormal. The most important thing is that mother and baby are healthy. Let’s stop being so judgemental of the means people choose to have their babies. I’m a firm believer that God Himself blesses scientists with the wisdom and ideas to make life easier for us. Let’s stop making couples (women especially) go through unnecessary psychological trauma when there are available means to solve their problems. Let’s be more open minded as a society, it’s the 21st century and these things should not be frowned upon anymore.
You may not see anything wrong with all these things I mentioned above but there are a good number of people who do. That is why I feel we need to have more of these kind of conversations so these methods will be largely accepted in society. What do you think?? Do you feel like some people look at these other methods a bit funny or do you think they're accepted enough as it is. I'd love to hear your opinion.
A healthy pregnancy/birth is when both mother and child are well and healthy. However way this happens actually does not matter. We can't even begin to count the number of women that have lost their lives because they've refused medical advice to give birth through CS. We really to talk about this more just so people know that there is no shame.
ReplyDeleteI sure think they look at it a bit funny and like you rightly said there is indeed a subtle shame people have about the these other methods ......It shouldn't be so .You hit the nail on the head hun ,nice write up🙌🙌🙌
ReplyDeleteThanks Ella
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